Got music?

Peter is in Grade 6 Band. Can you believe it? Is there anything more fun than the Grade 6 Band playing their first concert at Christmas? I'm so looking forward to that. The kids playing the songs sooooo slow, squawking and squeaking, and the band teacher practically dragging them along to the end. 

Peter has been anxiously awaiting his first day of band. He has not been allowed to touch his new instrument so that he didn't develop bad habits. Band teachers rule. But today he got to take it out of the case and put it together and he learned his first note. He can belt it out with the best of them.

And he can put it away. This should be quite the experience for all of us. Looking forward to it.

Look who's 7

Wow. Does your heart just melt when you see how grown up Gaelle looks. She was so excited about her birthday and just had to change into a dress for our family birthday meal. Complete with a necklace and bracelet.

Gently unwrapping each present. 

Love the books. Thanks Grammy.

A new fun barbie.

And a pack of gum at the bottom. We know that won't last long.

Yes, Baby Alive.

Big brother helped with the excessive packaging. 

Blew out the candles in one try.

Ready for bed and time to say goodnight to Emily and Josh who were here for the family meal. So thankful we can share these special days. When she said her prayers tonight she said, "I'm sorry Kaylin couldn't be here. But I know she misses me and wants to be here." As I mentioned earlier, Kaylin has left for school. These are phrases I say frequently to Gaelle. Kaylin has been a constant in her life for the past 2 and half years and she feels her absence keenly. So I verbally reassure her that even though loved ones are far away, they are thinking about her and missing her.

Change, transition, stress, and anxiety

As the summer has ended and a new school year has started there have been many changes in our family. Since Peter and Gaelle have joined our family, I have become a bit obsessive about these changes. Anticipating the behavioural issues. Guiding the teachers and other professionals in their lives with handy sheets outlining their needs. Researching. Discussing. 

However, it just isn't easy. We all have changes which often leads to anxiety and we all deal with that differently. As a parent I want to help my children navigate their journey through life but I often am a major fail.

When one of my kids was 4 we moved to another community 3 hours away. Before the move this child introduced us all to John Smith. An imaginary friend. John Smith lived in a purple house just behind our house. They had amazing adventures together. I never clued in to the sudden appearance and need of an imaginary friend for this child. Amazingly enough, John Smith never showed up in our new house and town. Apparently John Smith wasn't needed anymore. He provided a source of comfort while anticipating the move and all the changes that would bring, but once there, that comfort wasn't needed. 

We moved again and once again I didn't clue in that this child would need extra comfort and assurance and help leaving behind all that was familiar. Major fail on my part. John Smith didn't show up but tears and longing for the past did. 

Over and over we've seen this one child process change and have difficulty letting go of the past. On the positive side, this child is fiercely loyal. But it's an issue to always be aware of. The past brings comfort. The future brings anxiety of the unknown, and the pain of good byes. I have done a lousy job of helping this child process feelings and anxiety and trusting God through it all. I just didn't clue in. 

So if my biological kids feel stress and anxiety when change occurs, how could my adoptive kids just roll with the punches. They can't and they don't. But what I have to remember is that we are all different and we all have different needs.

Gaelle had such a great summer. For the most part the rough edges were gone. She has a few major behaviours that pop up when she is stressed. They were gone. But they're back and they're back with a vengeance. As I'm writing this, she is hard, demanding, not nice. She's just screaming (figuratively not literally) out that her control is gone. Things are happening to her that she has no say in. Again. So she will control her world and she will protect herself.

Peter also had a great summer. His behaviour when he is anxious is not as obvious but it is still there. He needs to be noticed. What if nobody sees him. What if nobody knows he is there. So the nonsense questions start. The constant talking and noise. I am here. Please see me. 

So where does that leave me? I know how weak and imperfect I am. I know I can't be all things to my children. I've already demonstrated that with 3 older children. My word for the year is HOPE. I've been  using a devotional from YouVersion called "Fostering Hope". It's been so inspirational as scripture and stories are told from a doctor working in the foster care system. So as I realize that I can't provide everything that will help and heal my children, I can draw on the strength and grace of God. 

... and then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9

New beginnings

Here she is. A brand new university student. We took Kaylin to Moncton on Monday as she is studying nursing at UNB - Moncton. We have some of the greatest stories about Kaylin when she was little talking and dreaming about her future as a nurse or a doctor or even a vet. It changed some but it was always about medicine. She had her own collection of medical books that she would pore over. Always medicine somehow. 

The next four years will be a challenge for her I am sure, but I know that she will flourish and persevere and bless everybody she comes in contact with. I'm so happy that she if on her way. 

And another 2 starting their new school year. Peter is in grade 6 and Gaelle is in grade 2. They both enjoyed their first day although their summer was so wonderful, I am kind of sad to see them go off. They like school but it brings some stress and anxiety to all of us. There are definitely challenges for all of us to navigate as we continue this journey of public school education.

Here we are at the end of the day just kind of debriefing. Telling each other about our day.

The last of Family Camp 2012

Peter and Gaelle love love love playing with other kids. One of the great things about Family Camp is all of the kids. They can play to their hearts content. One other thing we've noticed about Gaelle is her fascination with babies and pregnant women. One of the moms this summer was very generous with her little guy. She had no problem letting Gaelle play with him and carry him. After this cute shot, I asked Gaelle to just play with him. And leave the carrying to his big sister and family. 

Another big family game is The Amazing Race. We were on our own this year and completed several different types of activities. Always racing to be the first. Our mix of old and young kids gives us a bit of an edge and we have won the past 3 years. You can also see the determination on the older kids faces. We can do it.

Peter turned out to be a great shot. We only needed to hit the target 3 times and he got one.

Gaelle didn't hit it but she tried.

We've done better at the fire burning other years, but the wind was strong and unpredictable and it took us a little longer than we wanted. Oh well. 

Another favorite activity at camp is the rock climbing wall. Gaelle tried again this year but didn't quite make it to the top. Maybe next year.

Peter had no trouble getting to the top. 

The camp director has concocted a giant out door roaster and the staff takes turns feeding the fire all night so that on the final evening we can enjoy pulled pork. Once it's cooked, it has to be pulled. Go Josh. 

Another surprising highlight is the pie auction. Anybody who wants to can go to the kitchen and bake a pie. Some families opt out and that's ok. The cook makes sure there are plenty of pies. Other families come with their own special recipes. 

Each family has been accumulating Monopoly money all weekend. We finally get to spend it on a pie or two. I don't know how, but it ends up being an evening of laughter. Everybody gets carried away. Josh manages to have a pocket full of cash to pull out at just the opportune time. 

The staff hold up the pies and go to the tables to eat pies with the families. Actually nobody goes hungry and everybody is going around to all the tables making sure they get just a sliver of that one special pie they didn't win. 

I don't know if our family of seven will be at Family Camp 2013 but I hope so. Such a great time together.

Family Camp Continued

Just finishing up on the awesome Caton's Island Family Camp. We all look forward to the family scavenger hunt. You can just see the enthusiasm on the faces of the staff as they prepare to send us off.

Just a little brotherly love before we start off.

Each year we look for a frog. We're all peering in a little puddle here trying to see some bubbles or signs of life. We did see a frog and Josh had it in his hands, but it slipped out and he couldn't get it back.

But Peter did find a salamander. Not on the list but we kept it in case we got points for it.

We took a picture of the list because it's the same one every year. 

One of the other families managed to snag a frog and so Gaelle had her turn holding it. No, we didn't win the scavenger hunt but we got points for every item obtained and that translated into Monopoly money which could be spent at a pie auction later in the weekend.

The zip line is one of the main attractions at the camp. Gaelle didn't go down last year, but this year she went down multiple times. 

She looks a little hesitant but she didn't back off.

Sitting on the edge ready to go.

Away she goes.

Holding on and loving it. Screaming just for effect.

A total pro.

I think she liked it.

Now it's Peter's turn. He didn't have any problem and loved going down.

A great shot where you can see the height.

Coming in for a landing.

This is Gaelle going down the newest water toy at Catons. She was so brave and had no trouble swimming out to the water toys, jumping on and off, and swimming all around. The weather was beautiful and the kids stayed in the water for hours. They just loved it. 

Natural hair

I tried something new today. I decided to leave most of Gaelle's hair natural. I've wanted to try this for a while but I wasn't sure Gaelle would leave her hair alone. Then it would just be a lot of tangled knots. But I decided to go for it.

Believe it or not, it takes a bit of work to leave her hair natural. On Saturday night, I took her old style out, conditioned her hair, detangled all over and put in 10 flat rope twists on the front. I'm never quite sure what to do with the front. Her hair is so fragile there and it seems as though no matter what I do, it puts stress on her hair and breaks it. Then the sections that are long are in her face.

I put large twists in the back and let her sleep that way. Then on Sunday morning, I took out the large twists and wet her hair with my spray bottle. I then sectioned her hair, and took small sections thoroughly saturating each one with my curl defining creme. I used Taliah Waajid, Lock it Up. It helps to define the curl pattern that's naturally in her hair. If I didn't put the creme in, her hair would be frizzy.

I was super pleased with the results. One of the other downsides to natural hair is the shrinkage as the hair dries, so the hair appears very short. But it's actually long and full. Gaelle would love to have super long hair but we all are amazed at the growth of the past 2 years and if we both keep working at it, I'm sure it will continue to grow. 

Just for contrast, this is a photo where Kaylin is taking out the hair style that Gaelle came to Canada wearing. The beads would have weighted down the hair so you can see the full length. I look at this and can't believe how much her hair has grown. The back also had a bald spot where she was probably sleeping. That spot is pretty much grown in so that you can't tell anymore. 

March 2010. So hard to believe her hair was that short and thin. Especially in the back. 

When I told Gaelle on Saturday night that I was going to leave the back of her hair FREE she couldn't believe me. "Oh mommy, NO. Really?" I showed her what it would look like and she just shrugged her shoulders.

Today after lunch she came to me and said, "Mom, can you put my hair in a pony tail. My hair is too pouffy." She mentioned that kids would tease her. Even though nobody had. 

So because this distressed her, I hauled out the hair supplies and rewet the hair and put in twists in the back. FREE no more. But I loved it while it lasted.