4 days ago
Monday, September 6, 2010
Control vs. Trust
This picture was taken Sunday morning. Our little girl had a terrible day. From the moment she woke up, she was fighting for control... of EVERYTHING... and EVERYBODY. So she and I stayed home from church. She looks so peaceful here, but her day was anything but peaceful.
We are trying to reach Peter and Gaelle with one powerful message, "You can trust us to keep you safe and take care of you." Children from hard places have developed strong survival techniques and it is hard for them to trust anybody but themselves.
On Sunday, Gaelle's behavior was yelling to us, "I need to be in control." She was anxious about something and we aren't sure what. It could be school. It could have been Hurrican Earl from the day before. It could have been a result of all the transitions and changes from the weeks before. We don't know. She can't tell us. She just doesn't know how to tell us what is bothering her.
And so we did everything we could to send her the message that she can trust us. We told her. We stopped her demanding controlling beahvior. We stayed home. We read. We played. We snuggled. We were quiet. She spent time in the "think it over chair".
And at the end of the day, Robin and I listened to a seminar by the attachment expert Dr. Karyn Purvis. She has the most soothing voice and I needed it. It helped. So we continue. We continue to try and reach the hearts of our precious children.