Thursday, May 28, 2009

Two Little Girls, A Memoir of Adoption

I had a few minutes to kill the other day and stopped off at the library. Of course, I browsed the adoption section and found a memoir. When I started reading it, I just couldn't stop. Two Little Girls by Theresa Reid is described as beautiful, painful, raw, honest... I think you get the picture. Of course, I would like to know what adoption memoir is not all of those things. There is pain and there is beauty.

A few things jumped out at me though. Her adoption journey is quite a bit different than mine. After years of a fulfilled professional and personal life with no plans of having children, she suddenly realizes that she does indeed desire a child. Unfortunately she and her husband soon discover their infertility. So... they decide to adopt internationally. There are so many points in their story that just scream, "Selfish!!!!" But she readily acknowledges that reality. And there are so many moments of deep division between herself and her husband that scream out, "Abuse!!!!" She does not acknowledge that.

However, their journey bringing home one girl from Russia and then another little girl years later from Ukraine is literally "edge of your seat how can they possibly go through any more setbacks and continue" drama. Our adoption from Haiti has been LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG and there have been set backs. But because of the nature of Haitian adoptions (a lawyer acting on our behalf answerable to our orphanage and not us) versus the nature of Eastern European adoptions (adoptive parents have to be there to go through the court process and so are very aware of corruption, incompetence, apathy, hassles, etc.) I have been spared so much of the drama. I honestly don't know all of the "He said" "She said" garbage that goes on. I hear rumors but very little that is actually associated with our file. I know a long wait but I honestly don't know if I could have dealt with the roller coaster ride this family endured.

So as we wait in parquet... 10 LONG months and counting... I can at least be thankful I don't have to navigate the nightmare that Theresa Reid and so many others have. When our North American Can-Do attitude and work ethic fails and we are left totally helpless to the whims of a foreign system. I'm thankful for an ethical, reliable, hard working orphanage that is working hard to navigate the Haitian system on my behalf. I know that they are not cutting corners with my paper work or with the health and welfare of the children in their care.

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