Our adoption A's

Anxiety: It doesn't take much imagination to think about all of the new situations our kids face daily. They have been home with us for 4 months and there is not one thing about their new lives that resembles their old life in Haiti. Needless to say, this creates lots of anxiety and stress for them. As we've gotten to know each other better, we are gaining knowledge about their triggers and what we can do to calm their spirits. One important thing we can do is create structure and routine. The past few weeks have been full of upheaval with all of our family arriving home and we can really see the negative results.

Angular: Now this one is not as obvious but it's a huge indicator to us that all is not calm in Gaelle's spirit. She is a little girl who loves to be held and to snuggle but when she is anxious, her little body becomes all elbows and knees and sharp angles. When she first arrived home, she could not cuddle without hurting us. Every physical interaction with us included pain. We know she feels safe and calm when her body softens.

Chatty: This one refers to Peter and I couldn't find the right A word, so C it is. He has a strong sense of curiosity and a strong desire to learn. From the first day with us, he was eager to try all kinds of new things. However, when he becomes anxious, there is constant chatter and all kinds of nonsense questions and it gets out of control. It can become annoying and so difficult to respond to appropriately. But we are learning and developing our own tools to help him stay calm and to not start running off at the mouth.

Attention: This is a huge reality for the kids. They both crave attention. As you can imagine, life in an orphanage with 70 other kids creates all kinds of survival skills. Our kids both developed their own unique ways of getting attention. Peter is the smart curious one. When he is seeking attention, out come the incessant questions and endless chatter. When Gaelle wants attention, out comes the super adorable, very cute performer. This is where the balance comes in. We want to give the kids appropriate attention, but we want them to learn that they don't have to perform in order to get attention. It's tough. But we're all learning and there are some great resources on the internet and in books which have been life savers.

Aroma: Speaking of the internet, this is something I learned just last week. About the time, Peter started going to school we suddenly noticed really bad body odor. I assumed that he was playing much harder and was just sweating a lot and he had BO. But it was really bad for a 9 year old. We found it kind of strange because when we were in Haiti, he sweated a lot and we didn't notice BO. Over the past few weeks, we have noticed that his odor has gone. Didn't think much of it, until last week when I read on an adoptive mother's blog saying that stress triggers elevated levels of cortisol which some believe results in odor and also an increased appetite. That would certainly explain a few things. Peter eats more than I do and he isn't gaining much weight. The start of school was obviously super stressful for him.

Activity: This was probably the first thing we noticed when the kids arrived home; they can be active. They're used to constant physical play and love to be outside playing hard. This is all good. However, when they are feeling anxious, their activity becomes frenzied. People who aren't around them regularly can't even tell the difference. But the level of play becomes almost desperate and we see the chatter from Peter and the angles from Gaelle. If they are given free reign we will see meltdowns; Peter withdraws and Gaelle tantrums. So obviously, it's best to stay in control and to limit outside influences to keep the frenzy down.

I could go on and on with the symptoms of stress in our kids. Sometimes we know it's coming and sometimes we're caught completely off guard. Right now, we're trying to keep things calm and on schedule and we're trying to keep their world as small as we can. Not easy, but so worth the results.

First Zoo Trip

The kids have been to the Baptist Mission in Haiti and have seen the animals there but we were looking forward to showing them zoo animals. Saturday was a gorgeous day so we headed to the valley.



The kids weren't crazy about ice cream when they first arrived but they now fully embrace our love for ice cream.



The obligatory pony ride. The smiles were pretty big the whole way around the track. So cute!



Gaelle was adamant that she also wanted to ride the pony but I wasn't sure she would go through with it. But she did. And again, her face was beaming the whole time and she was giving us big waves all around the track.



You've got to love the wild cat. Both kids were thrilled to pet the local cat. Forget the lions. Can I touch the cat?



Peter reached out to touch the llamas without hesitation. They were super docile. Probably the hit of the day was the baby goats. They are goats all over Haiti so this was hardly a novelty, but who can resist baby goats at play. We spent a lot of time just watching them. Good times!

Laughter & Tears

My parents' yearly visit had already come and gone, so we thought. But we received a phone call last week that one of my dad's brothers had unexpectedly died. He lives close to us in NS so my parents were on their way back up. The kids were beyond excited to have them back and told them they needed to stay for "17 days". Altho the reason for their quick return trip was tragic and really beyond belief, we were glad to see them again.



Mom and Gaelle went for their long walk to the market. It's now tradition to come back with Cheesy Chips. It's their thing.



Robin made a sand box for the kids (Gaelle says it's for EVERYBODY.) and she convinced Grampy to sit with her and play. Good times.



We celebrated Victoria Day on Monday with a trip to the Dingle Park in Halifax. We've been tellling the kids how cold the water is and they found out for themselves. But they still had fun in the sand.



We had some beautiful weather and had a chance to eat outside. For some reason, food always tastes better when it's eaten outside.

May is family month

We've had a few visitors since the kids have been home which is a mixed blessing. We love to see new and old friends and family but it can sometimes put a stress on the kids; their anxiety level goes up which most people don't even notice. A lot of attachment experts recommend a period of 3 - 6 months of a very closed world for kids who are dealing with trauma and transitioning to a new family. I'm not quite sure who can pull that off but we have done our best to keep our world small since the kids have been home with us.

But the month of May will be a big one for our family. Robin's mom lives by us and we see her every week and spend our Sunday mornings together. But Peter & Gaelle met my parents for the first time last week. Tomorrow Josh comes home and then May 27 Emily comes home. I'm thrilled but I know it's going to create anxiety in the kids and we'll see it in so many ways. Hopefully we'll stay patient and the teens in the house will be understanding. I, for one, am excited to create a new normal.

New routines

Gaelle with her bedtime buddy, Raggedy Ann.

Bedtime has been a work in progress for our family since Peter and Gaelle came home. They are sharing a room which has been a good thing but we have been through a few different stages with them. The first few nights we both stayed in the room with them until they fell asleep and they did sleep... through the whole night... for the first couple of nights.

Then Gaelle would come into our room around midnight and sleep with us. Then Peter joined the fun. So, we would both sleep with them in their bed until they fell asleep and then let them sleep in our bed when they woke up. Both kids were so squirmy and it seemed to take them forever to relax their bodies and fall asleep. Can we say exhausted? We were both so tired.

Then Robin caught a really bad cold. I slept with the kids until they fell asleep but asked the kids to stay in their room because, "Papa needed to rest." Surprisingly, they stayed in their room. Gaelle would crawl into Peter's bed and they were proud that they were helping Papa get better. We were estactic.

Papa got better and they were now sleeping through the night in their own beds. Gaelle no longer joined Peter. But we still each slept with them until they fell asleep.

Last week we announced that we would no longer be sleeping in their beds with them. Instead, we would sleep on the floor until they fell asleep. This did not go over well with Gaelle. Her need for control kicked in and there was a major battle. Not the first bedtime battle. There have been many over the past 4 months.

But after the first night, both kids accepted the new arrangement. Now we both do our bedtime routine of reading, singing, and praying, and then only one of us stays on the floor until they fall asleep. And the wonderful thing is that they fall asleep within 5 minutes. It's perfect! And it is so much easier on us.

It's only been 4 months and yet this is a tangible way that we can see the security and safety the kids feel. I'm actually surprised that we've gotten to this point, however, I can't even begin to imagine how long it will take for Gaelle to ever be able to sleep in a room by herself. But that's ok... tiny steps for now.

Just Like Kaylin

Tonight Gaelle was getting her cream on before bed and she scooped some out and with flair, placed a dot on her forehead, cheeks and chins. Again, with flair, she rubbed it in and said, "Just like Kaylin." She was imitating the way her older sister puts on her make up. Too cute!!!

Last night she looked at the computer and said, "Talk to Emily Churchill?" She wanted to skype with Emily but she called her by her first and LAST name. Not quite sure where that came from, but it made me smile.

We were at the library and Peter saw the water fountain so he asked for a drink. We haven't seen him use one before but he knew what it was. He went over and placed his entire mouth over the metal spout. Robin showed him how to use it and then said, "Just remember all the other 9 year old boys who have been here before you." Needless to say, it will be a while before I drink from a fountain again too.

I'm the mommy

Well, we've had quite a week. Peter had 2 teeth removed Monday night which he handled like a pro. However, when he got home, he seemed a bit shell shocked. Robin kept him home the next day so he could recover.

Gaelle has had quite a week. It's been all about control with her... and she wants it. Complete control. So she's been getting the message that she has a mommy and daddy who make those decisions... not her. Tonight at supper, Peter was instructing her to finish her milk and she told him, "You're not the daddy." So, I guess in a way, she's getting the message.

Somebody sent us some clothes for Gaelle including a Tinkerbell outfit. She was in heaven when she saw it and has been wearing it at least once every day. Very cute.



Kaylin had a friend over on Saturday and even though I told the kids that they weren't there to entertain them, it still ended up that way. They spent a bit of time playing foosball. Peter wasn't doing so well no matter who he was partnered with and so he started praying to Jesus. Apparently Jesus wanted him to learn how to lose because he just could not win.



We've been having wet snow on and off today. When Gaelle was going to bed, she said, "I love snow. I want to play in it." Meanwhile, the rest of us are groaning and hoping this turns to rain and stays rain.

Funny sayings

Peter and Gaelle constatnly parrot what they hear. Sometimes they come up with the appropriate slang type saying and take us all by surprise. Tonight Gaelle asked where Kaylin was. She was told that Kaylin was at church. Gaelle LOVES to go to church and so she asked if she was going to eglise. No... just Kaylin. So Gaelle pipes up with,

What's up with that?

Then another day she was being given some choices for lunch. She often says, "Poco. Poco," and she holds up her hand which means "Wait. Wait." So Robin asked her what she wanted and she held up her hand and said,

Let me think about that.

To which Peter promptly said, "Her English is getting really good."

Tonight we had a friend drop by who is heading to Haiti tomorrow. This was his first time meeting the kids and he decided to practice his Creole on Gaelle. So he asked her, "Koman ou ye?" to which she said with disgust, "Meh!!!" and then she walked away.

Translation: How are you?
Translation: apparently one of those phrases that we utter when we're disgusted or frustrated

Either Dean's Creole was really bad or she just didn't feel like speaking Creole.

Easter weekend

Never too old to join in the fun. Kaylin hiding the candy for bunny day.



The kids dyed eggs at GLA in Haiti so it was a fun tradition to continue. Now we get to eat the eggs. So far we've found out the kids don't like egg salad sandwich. They pretty much just want to eat the egg yolk... by itself.



Gaelle needed a little help to actually find the candy and she never did get right into it. Peter took off like a shot to find the candy but Gaelle paced herself. However, when it comes to eating the candy, Gaelle is all about that. She frequently asks for "lollipops" which is her word for candy.



We had a fairly simple Easter meal this year. However, I asked Kaylin what dessert she would like and she chose grasshopper pie. Peter and Gaelle really believed we made it out of grasshoppers. They were pretty skeptical and hesitant to try it but they dug in and became fans after the first bite.


We dress fairly casually for church but got the kids all dressed up for Easter Sunday. Peter was super proud and once again said, "Joyce will be so happy to see me dressed up." He's such a people pleaser and one of his favorite people to please is Joyce. And I'm sure she would be very proud of how handsome he looked.

Quick Snapshot of the week

Peter was the classroom "Idol of the week". He made a poster about himself and brought in a book to read and something for show and tell. Let me tell you, it was difficult to communicate the rules of show and tell. He wanted to bring in Snickers, but we convinced him to bring in something else. One of the first gifts the kids received was from some of the people in our work building. The folks in Community Policing gave Peter a "laughing" dog. It really cracks us all up. That's what he took in for show and tell.



The kids experienced their first Kinder Surprise. Carol and Rob stopped in for a visit and can I just say that Carol is as much of a kid as a kid. Her future grandkids are in for a wild ride.



Gaelle creating with paint. We really love all the wonderful craft gifts that we've been given. The kids do too!!!



Kaylin came home on Monday after 2 weeks in Thailand and brought Peter a dragon boat puzzle. He did so well putting it together. I stepped in a couple of times to point out a few things but he basically did it by himself. Great job!!!



We've had some great weather and the kids were outside most of yesterday. Here they are enjoying their bubbles. LOts of fun.